Can you handle discomfort, irritations, or annoyances? If so, for how long? Do you grit and bare through it just until the strangers are no longer in your midst? Do you pretend to handle it only to throw a little tantrum 15 minutes later?
Maybe you’re like me and you’re trying to exercise your low frustration tolerance but later realize how quick you are to complain about it.
There are variants of frustrations such as being cold, getting smothered, working with difficult people, having repeated failed attempts at something, enduring pain, etc.*
Yet frustration of any kind often has us saying “I CAN’T HANDLE IT!” (find The Can’t Song here)
Many years ago when I began working contractually with the Nedleys at their Depression & Anxiety Recovery Programs @nedleyhealth, I was relieved to hear that there was only one thing in this life we could not possibly handle ever...
death itself.
Years later I was excited to pass on this pearl of knowledge to my firstborn toddler (3 y/o at the time). I had been trying to model the phrase to her by saying “it’s okay, I can handle it.” Not longer than a week or so later I had smashed my finger somehow and was writhing in pain. Jumping in the kitchen, holding tightly to my throbbing finger saying “ ooh. Ahhh! It hurts so bad!” Amelia looked at me with concern but soon peace swept over her face as she exclaimed, “but you can handle it right Mommy?!” 😂
I couldn’t help but smile through my pain.
Lately, Clara (4 y/o) has been exercising the phrase as well:
“I’m so tired! But it’s okay, I can handle it!”
“It’s too dark but good thing I can handle it.”
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What’s happening in your life that at times you might think you can’t handle?
Try to catch yourself the next time you say “I can’t handle it” or “I can’t stand it”. Count how many times you might say it in a day. What is happening that triggers you to say that? Is it really helpful to tell yourself that you can’t handle it?
Try instead to say, “this is really hard but I can handle it!”
You CAN handle more than you THINK!
***Disclaimer: There are some things out of our control that will require us to seek REAL help and that’s okay! Saying “I can handle this” doesn’t mean you can’t ask for help. Many situations people are faced with do often feel unbearable such as trauma, debilitating illnesses, abusive situations, addiction, grief, betrayal, and heartache of any kind. Take responsibility and “handle it” by getting the help you need.
Seek the safety and professional help you will need to create boundaries and live a healthier life BUT once your safety is in place and healing has begun, remember, “It’s okay, you CAN handle it.”
Spiritual application:
When you “can’t handle it”, remember this:
“Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”
Isaiah 41:10